What I can never say
by The Eternity Dragon
Summary: It’s their second kiss, the first being the one Naruto gave him behind the boys’ lockers in the changing rooms after he’d accused Sasuke of spraining his wrist. SasuNaru oneshot complete


**Title:** What I can never say  
**Rating:** R (for sexual situations)  
**Genre:** Romance/AU  
**Main pairing(s):** SasuNaru  
**Other/Implied:** NoneSpoilers: None

**Beta'd by:** Silverwyrm

Written for Ryu and xDplushie

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The pinwheel whirls round caught in a sudden gust of wind that blows up from the bottom of the hill. Racing up through the grass blades until it bursts over the top like crashing thunder causing the treetops to shiver and quake.

"Don't you think you're a little old for those things?" Sasuke asks, satchel held casually over his right shoulder and the two top buttons of his pristine white shirt unbuttoned. It allows the eye to see the tantalizing hint of bare skin beneath his clothes that are shadowed with lines of blue.

Naruto allows his eyes to skim across Sasuke's collarbone, a slow grin like treacle or molasses spreading across the entirety of his roughly handsome face. It moves over his confident mouth and up his freckle-dusted nose, settling deep in his cornflower blue eyes.

Naruto has eyes the colour of the sky above them, Sasuke thinks and has always thought, looking into them is like being drawn towards a magnet and looking away is twice as hard.

"When I was a kid," Naruto begins with a carefree laugh, crossing his hands behind his head and standing on tiptoe. It's curiously confident posture for someone who feels like the ground is about to whipped out from beneath their feet.

His school tie and jacket lie crumpled up on the ground beside him, his shirt covered with ink blotches at the sleeves, unbuttoned halfway down his torso and lying loose across his waist.

"My Dad used to buy me one of these every summer." He finishes the sentence there, not wishing to continue to: 'as he did ever summer until he died'. And promptly stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Sasuke lets the tip of his tongue slide slowly across his lips before he does anything, dropping his school satchel beside Naruto's pile of disorganized chaos and chooses to answer the question with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders.

"I just knew you'd be up here," he replies lightly, it's all pre-amble and he knows it, avoiding the subject and the matter at hand by such huge degrees they're passing parallel to each other on opposite axis.

Naruto's tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth and Sasuke's avoiding all eye contact; staring moodily and silently at a particular blade of grass whilst the sunlight casts deep blue shadows in the hollows of his neck and across the stubborn curves of his lips.

They both feel their body temperatures pitch and rise and for lack of conversation Sasuke's fingers rise to loosen the knot of his tie, aware all the time of Naruto's eyes following the line of movement in the manner a shadow will follow light.

"I know you're stalking me, Sasuke."

It's said teasingly, like a brief gust of wind or a slight patter of rain but Naruto stands light on his feet as if he's expecting Sasuke to take a punch at him.

Part of him wants Sasuke to attack him, longing for physical contact of any sort; he likes the adrenaline that surges through him when he does it. The sort of thrill that's like licking an electric fence or jumping into a lake of ice cold water and forgetting your name or even how to talk.

Being with Sasuke, in the moment is like that. So shocking, so violent in its revelation that it's almost like being struck by lightening. Like looking through a microscope and seeing the world in molecules and atoms, it's something that singularly takes Naruto's focus and concentrates it like a laser beam.

Naruto could use so many terrifying words to describe it: addictive, earth shattering, indescribable and yet, one by one, each one of them seems to fall short.

"Don't flatter yourself," is Sasuke's flippant reply, ignoring Naruto's confrontational stance as he slides his fingers to the knot in his tie pulling it off completely and raising the back of his collar.

"Everyone knows this hill has the best sun."

He makes to drop his jacket on the ground, shrugging it off his shoulders so it hangs by his elbows and then slipping like water off his forearms before his kicks it away from him as it falls to his feet.

Naruto takes a step back as the pinwheel spins round and round, a spinning red blur against the green grass, flashing in his mind like a signal from a light house to a sailor lost at sea.

Sasuke turns towards him, and just like that his expression is suddenly confrontational, fingers splayed open on the edge of his elegant hands, challenging and daring Naruto to take him right there and now.

The tip of his white teeth biting against his lips, tempting, teasing and laughing at Naruto's meandering hesitation. There's some silent agreement passing between them that they both understand, something that's not spoken with words but with a fleeting glance and a slight curl of the mouth that sends Naruto running at Sasuke to bring him down in a full body tackle.

Sasuke dodges it easily, turning to the side and sticking his foot out, years of practice and training in martial arts that sends Naruto tumbling to the ground in a colourful heap. Itachi if he had seen it, he would have been proud.

Naruto lies there for a moment, his mouth full of swear words and the bitter taste of earth and grit lining the back of his tongue. But it's not long before he's up again, circling Sasuke and wiping the blood from his bottom lip with the back of his hand whilst Sasuke stands there smirking – that smug expression that makes Naruto feel like he should do something, anything, as long as it's crazy enough to wipe it clean off his face.

This time when Naruto comes towards him Sasuke doesn't make to get out of the way, like he's been waiting for this a long time as they both go down, kicking and rolling, bodies twisting against each other hot and raging.

Naruto yells that he hates Sasuke, and Sasuke yells back without hesitation that he hates Naruto too. It's not something either of them mean but the words are used for filling up space when something else should have been said in their place.

It's become second nature to them, a reflex to stem words that are too difficult to get past their tongues and it's with hard determination that Naruto pushes Sasuke over, catching him with a right hook across the jaw before leaning down to kiss him. Blood, sweat and saliva mingling as Naruto brings his teeth into the equation in a rough inexpert kiss, pushing against Sasuke's parted lips with the tip of his tongue.

It's their second kiss, the first being the one Naruto gave him behind the boys' lockers in the changing rooms after he'd accused Sasuke of spraining his wrist. But now Naruto doesn't have the liberty or the option of running away like he did then right after their lips broke apart.

Right here, right now, he can feel Sasuke's iron like grip on his arms; reaching up to his shoulders as he squeezes his eyes closed shut and tries to press closer to Sasuke. Realizing with a jolt to his stomach that accompanies the skittering flutter of his heart beat that Sasuke's the one who's kissing him back now, and he's also the one that's not letting Naruto go.

There are a lot of things Sasuke's been called, player is one of them, flirt is another, although truthfully Sasuke never flirts. Girls like to _think_ he flirts, it's got something to do with the way he blinks with those long raven dark lashes, slowly and gracefully accompanied with a seductive twist of his mouth. It leaves a lot to the imagination the way those dark silvery grey irises might glide over you, and you wonder if he's undressing you with his eyes.

Sasuke looks a lot but he hardly ever talks, but recently he's been spending a lot of time looking at Naruto – it's not just looking either – staring, long intense glances that leave the both of them tingling on the inside as if they were both full of tiny electric blue sparks.

Sasuke can't make head or tails of it, he's eighteen but this has never happened to him before; not like this anyway. He's become fixated on Naruto ever since he heard him laughing in a corridor four months before, standing in front of the wide French windows, sunlight falling into his blond hair whilst he grinned at some idiotic joke a friend had made. From then on it had been a game of cat and mouse, fleeting glances, the awkward confrontations that often lead to violent skirmishes because Naruto felt the same way that Sasuke _felt_ but knew it was too difficult to put into worlds.

They had ended up on the same tennis team, the rugby team, the rowing team, Naruto had gone so far as to even join the debating team because Sasuke was the lead speaker although he denied all accusations hotly but it didn't stop the fact that both of their eyes wondered to each other in the locker rooms when both of them reached down to pull up their shirts.

For Naruto there is the dangerous kick of being infatuated with an older student, Sasuke is three years his senior, taller with a slender but powerful build. Whenever they argue he has to look up, tilting his head back to curl back his lip in order to expel with enough venom how much he hates Sasuke, and how he will always hate him for the rest of forever.

Naruto thinks Sasuke is beautiful, but he'll never admit it out loud because he's embarrassed about thinking that about another boy. And yet Sasuke thinks Naruto's addictive, despite being loud mouthed, uncouth and generally obnoxious, but he'll cut his tongue off before he'd ever confess it to anyone.

The sun beats hot and fervent against the back of Naruto's neck as he feels Sasuke's fingers graze between their abdomens, sliding up his pectoral muscles and resting on the flat of his stomach which makes Naruto dizzy and out of breath. He pulls away from the kiss, panting and trying to remember how to breathe, the pounding of rushing blood between his ears reminding him how woefully inexperienced he is in terms of sexuality.

He draws away, trying to break free, filled with a flood of self-awareness and sudden ineptitude that makes him want to shrink into the ground when Sasuke flips him aggressively onto his back and suddenly he's staring straight into the blazing sun.

There's a lot you can say with a kiss, or so Naruto learns when Sasuke presses warm hot kisses all across his sternum, muttering something that sounds like a plea, or a string of disorganized words that build up into a mantra, and mumbling that almost becomes a song.

The kisses can be slow and gentle, or hot and strong, thorough, brief and teasing, Sasuke does something with his tongue sometimes that makes Naruto's back arch and causes senseless sound to fall tumbling from his lips. He can even make Naruto beg if he wants, only touching his neck now, biting, licking and tasting. Trailing over places that makes Naruto's pulse race and sends him spiralling further towards white lights.

Coming down from that high, a sort of gracelessness act, shuddering a little, almost surprised by the intensity of it and knowing Sasuke's done something that will leave a large and purple bruise on his collarbone tomorrow for all the world to see, Naruto laughs – shakily.

Sasuke's eyes are half lidded, and his perfect mouth is flushed from where Naruto has bitten and run his teeth against it and Naruto opens his mouth to say what he's been trying to say for the past two months after he first punched Sasuke in the face and gave him a beauty of a shiner.

"I…" but the words get stuck again halfway between his tongue and his teeth and he swallows them, coughing up something that's familiar to both of them and is so much easier to handle.

"I hate you."

The sunshine falls across Sasuke's hair as he laughs, turning it deep blue. All the familiar thoughts of: moron, idiot, coward, liar, halfwit, dope and pea-brain, running through his head as he kicks Naruto over with a hard blow between his ribs. He jumps to his feet and takes off down the hill, turning round at the bottom to watch as Naruto comes after him, breathless rush of adrenaline and emotions swirling around as if he's caught in a hurricane.

The wind sighs, picking up its pace again and blowing up the hill. It catches the outstretched fans of the pinwheel, the bold crimson bright against the green of the grass and the grey of the shadows. It continues to spin, dizzy with movement, whirring as if it will never stop

+ End

_The fountains mingle with the river  
And the rivers with the ocean,  
The winds of Heaven mix for ever  
With a sweet emotion;  
Nothing in the world is single,  
All things by a law divine  
In one spirit meet and mingle -  
Why not I with thine?_

_See the mountains kiss high Heaven  
And the waves clasp one another;  
No sister-flower would be forgiven  
If it disdained its brother;  
And the sunlight clasps the earth,  
And the moonbeams kiss the sea -  
What are all these kissings worth  
If thou kiss not me?  
_

By Percy Bysshe Shelly

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**A/N**: To those of you who keep emailing me about having Fish Bird symptoms of TED WHERE THE HELL IS IT. DX yeah okay I know, ;w; it's just I don't want to finish it it's my baby. I KNOW I HAVE TO, BUT I'M BEING A BIT WEIRD ABOUT POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER.


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